i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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