i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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