everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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