why didn't you poke me back
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
