guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
