Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
