I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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