Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
