we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize