he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He felt like a one man threesome
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
