Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
