Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
