When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize