Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.

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(954): View more from Florida

woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.

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(727): View more from Florida

These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone

(1-540): View more from Virginia

I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?

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(315): View more from New York

He tried to tip me with his police badge...

(1-315): View more from New York

and you didn't accept WHY?!

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(276): View more from Virginia

Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.

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