i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
