We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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