Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
