it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
