Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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