it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
