so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Duck Duck Cougar?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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