You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
