so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
