You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
