Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
