I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
