I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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