I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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