The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
