AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
