I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
