Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
babies were throwing up all over the place
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Come on in and take your pants off
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