have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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