im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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