i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
