So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize