i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
