I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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