Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
