Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
