would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just want nice things and good sex
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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