so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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