Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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