did you get engaged???
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
