yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
