Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
