Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Randomize
