I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize