I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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