Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All the doctor said was why
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
