I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
