Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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