i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
