Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
