you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
