I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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