I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
