i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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